Scared to Approach? Here’s How To Ask Out a Friend as a Guy

Every guy knows how nerve wracking it can be to ask out a friend.

The possibility of rejection is much better, even if you’re shaking in your boots and ready to hit the panic button.

You came here to figure out how to ask out a friend. To be a bit overdramatic: this is a big step that could change your relationship forever. Although it may feel intimidating or that the world rests on your shoulders, this is a healthy step in the right direction.

Regret is worse than rejection

The world of dating is like a battlefield. As the saying goes, “All's fair in love and war.” As a young man, you know this better than anyone else. But although rejection can feel like a speeding bullet through the chest, it won't leave a fatal wound.

Rejection will always trump regret. Sitting on your palms and thinking of the “what if”s and “could be”s will haunt you much more than a simple “no.” If you don't stand up to your fears and take a chance, you'll deal with feelings of regret, guilt, and shame. Taking this risk takes a lot of courage. That courage will stick with you for the long run and come in handy down the line.

Take a deep breath

Let's face the facts: you're probably experiencing feelings of worry, anticipation, and stress. But who wouldn't? You're asking out a close friend, risking the relationship, and building up the experience in your head. Grab a moment to take a deep breath. Are you ready now?

Building up to the moment

Let's take a second to think about your friend's perspective. They may not have the slightest clue of your interest in them. They may view you as only a friend and have no romantic interest. That's okay. But, pulling the trigger too soon could create a jarring experience. It's important to build up to the moment.

Take some time, no more than a week, to change the grounds of the relationship. Test the waters with some light flirting and teasing. Give them a few compliments to display your interest. This is an important step!

Consult your inner circle

It's necessary to consult your inner circle while you're building up to judgment day — one of them has surely gone through the same scenario. This could be another guy friend, an older role model, or someone from your friend group.

Ask them for their opinions, advice, and experiences. Your inner circle might know something you don't. They could have a better idea of your strengths or weaknesses and help you refine your game plan. Seek their encouragement and allow your inner circle to hype you up for the game day!

Practice, practice, and more practice

We've all heard the saying, “Practice makes perfect.” Although a bit cliché, this statement holds true to relationships, as well. You're stepping into uncharted territory, so any practice is sure to help.

Practice in front of a mirror, with your friends, or even acquaintances. If you're not used to flirting or giving compliments, practice on strangers or other people you have an interest in. Maybe you need to work on eye contact and confidence. Either way, take a few days to build up some experience and muscle memory.

Dress for success

A clean haircut, a stylish outfit, and a bit of cologne can go a long way. It's crucial to dress for success before, during, and after the pivotal moment. Ditch any raggedy gym clothes for something a bit more refined.

Maybe you can borrow some cologne from an older brother or friend. Be sure to book a haircut beforehand if you're in dire need. It'll also do you some good to start hitting the gym, eat a bit healthier, and focus on some self-care techniques before the big event.

The moment has come: Be direct!

The day has come, and you've done the groundwork, consulted your inner circle, and you're looking sharp. Now for the moment of truth, but you're stumped — how do I ask out my friend?

The key is to be direct and as confident as you can muster. Beating around the bush is what got you into this position and only leads to more confusion. Wait until you and your friend have a moment to yourselves. Make eye contact and be direct. Let them know your feelings and what you want moving forward. Don't worry if you trip up, lose your cool, or get nervous. Make a joke and keep pushing forward.

Accept the answer

We hope everything went well and you're in a happy relationship. But sometimes, you'll be rejected and remain friends. That's okay. Accept your friend’s answer and respect their decision. It's impossible to force someone to like or love you.

Hold your head high and take pride in yourself. It's alright if the relationship is strained or a bit rocky afterward. Keep developing your confidence, take this moment in stride, and utilize the lessons you've learned for future relationships.

So, you just asked out a friend. How did it go? What did you learn? If everything went well, congratulations! If not, you'll survive to live another day. Regardless of the results, you took a courageous step in your dating life. Always remember to keep working on yourself and that there's plenty of fish in the sea.

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