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5 Rules of Engagement I Learned from My Lesbian Friend

5 Rules of Engagement I Learned from My Lesbian Friend

Living in LA, I could say that I have learned a lot. And none of those lessons have fascinated me more than the lessons I’ve learned about people.


Being here you would think that the LGBTQIA (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, and asexual) community would be the same as anyone with a traditionally “straight” preference. Boy, was I wrong? I remember sitting with my gay best friend. Yes, like the best friend in the movies, and we're talking about the different sayings and terms they use when describing relationships and types. Needless to say, I couldn’t keep up. There was a lot of repeating and “huh?” After a night of hanging out and shooting the breeze, I came out with an education you could only get in the LGBTQIA community.

My most memorable lesson was the lesbian rules of engagement. Here are the top five that many straight folks would have a hard time understanding.

Don’t post about your date on social media.

My first question was why not? Straight people do it all the time. Well, not everyone is accepting of the non-traditional dating world. You'll never know if she has her own reservations about this. So, to protect your budding relationship, refrain from blasting your new girl on Instagram.

Don’t say “Hey, do you want to hang out.”

That can mean anything. This ambiguous statement can allude to being friends or something very platonic. In traditional dating between a man and a woman, we tend to know what “hang out” means. But as a lesbian, she doesn’t have time to try and decipher your code. Just be direct. “I like you, I would like to take you out on a date” works just fine.

Don’t assume she likes toys.

This is a misconception by a lot of straight people. They think “Oh, they use toys. That’s how they have sex.” Well, not necessarily. Some like them and some don’t. Communicate and listen to figure out what your partner likes.

If you call her for a date, then you pay for the date.

In the girl-likes-girl world, this can get a little sticky. In the straight world, usually, the guy is expected to pay. Blame it on the traditional gender roles, but a lot of people haven’t figured out this one yet. So, you’re welcome!

Dating the Ex is a no-no.

Yes, I know this one is frowned upon no matter your preference. But apparently as a lesbian, it is like a cardinal sin. 

These are just some of the rules of dating a lesbian that stuck out to me in my conversation. There is way more to learn about the LGBTQIA community and the lingo. If you’re a newly open lesbian, take these golden rules and get out there tiger!


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