Sibling Conflict Resolution 101

Sibling conflict resolutions are extremely important, especially when sharing a space together.

Being indoors all day is not an easy ask for adults. Now think about how your kids feel. If you have young children, you know that sitting still is a challenge (and that's an understatement). If you want to manage this time at home without losing your mind, then you have to prepare yourself mentally for the sibling conflict resolution that you will have to perform.

You need to remind yourself (always) that this is normal. They haven't quite mastered the art of anger management. They only know how to express frustration, so they lash out the only way they know how - physically by hitting and pushing while yelling at the top of their lungs.

So here are a few things you can do to resolve the mini MMA fights that will 100% happen.

Have a plan in place

Make sure you set some ground rules that they, and you, must abide by, like the following:

1. Don't ignore the fight.
2. Be calm - no sense in you losing it as well.
3. They must cool off in another room for 10-15 seconds, so when they do talk to you about the problem, they're not flustered and agitated.
4. Have them state the problem out loud.
5. No name-calling. 
6. Have them each talk about a solution.

This is an excellent opportunity to have them learn how to talk to each other constructively. Having ground rules in place will make each fighting round easier to deal with because they'll start building better habits for conflict resolution. 

It's also a great time to teach them teamwork and kindness and how to negotiate to make sure they can resolve whatever issue they're confronted with. It's a great skill to start honing in on at a young age.

Mirrored actions

Not only is it necessary to have rules in place, but you, too, have to set an example of conflict resolution when you're dealing with tough scenarios. We all know how children absorb everything they see. Make sure they have a good reference point.

When you jump in and referee, you need to keep in mind a few things while you're helping them work through this feud. They're hot and flustered and ready to pop. During this time, you should remember their unique attributes and never favor one child over the other or compare if one is dealing with the scenario better than the other. That could harbor feelings of resentment and more anger down the line causing more fights, something that they need to learn to overcome as they continue to grow.

The sooner they learn to handle conflict the right way, they'll be leaps and bounds ahead of their peers. Every time they fight, it's another occasion to teach them how they should be acting towards each other. Have patience; it's going to take several go-arounds before they fully implement the rules that you've set forth.

Woo-sahhhhh

It's probably going to be annoying to go through the sibling conflict resolution process over and over again. During the many rounds you'll referee, you're going to have to take deep breaths and exhibit patience. You got this. We believe in you!